Thanks, Steve. That's precisely the solution I asked in my original post if anyone had experience with. So far, it doesn't sound like it. Note that forum member mdsalem suggested, above, that this solution might throw off wheel balance.
Let's see, so far we've got 1) dobermans, 2) welding, 3) multiple zip-ties, 4) offal, 5) hubcaps du jour, and 5) cap-lug tethers. Oh, and the law firm of Smith and Wesson.