How does anyone ever get to be a mechanic???

[JamesL]

I'm a bright enough chap. I can figure things out. I just cannot believe I am that much more cack-handed than everyone else but I must be

So... I decided to change all (but one of)  the bulbs and seals in my headlights.

Being a sensible sort, I do one light at a time. My foglight reflector is a mess so I replaced that - figured out how to do that and was quite proud of myself for marking the positioning thread location so it could go back together, as well as heating the rubber bungs so I could soften them to get them back in position
Then the P45t headlamp doesn't fit so I had to make that work with a plastic fitting ring but in faffing with it, managed to blow the old bulb by forgetting to cut the power before plugging it in.
Then I couldn't get the sidelight to work and spent an age faffing with it before thinking... "check the fuse" and lo, . So did that, and miraculously the sidelihght (no, I hadn't checked the back...) worked. But only with the old bulb as I've managed to snap the new one (and no, I don't have a spare)

So I had working... sidelight, new foglight, new parking light and new headlight. I cleaned out the old seal channel, stuck in the new seal and re-assembled the fitting feeling very smug with my efforts. Drove the car and thought "that's funny, why is my turn signal indicator on the dash flashing quickly?" So I checked that and the only bulb I have not touched - and therefore didn't check before re-assembly - is NOT WORKING. So it all has to come apart again

And then I have to do the other side...

So if anyone has any 2 steps forwards, 1 step backwards stories they wish to share with me to make me feel a little better....

[waltklatt]

How about this one?
There was a sweet picture in one of the magazines a few years back where this man is finally happy to be finished with the entire engine rebuild of his vintage Ferrari and is celebrating with champagne.
His small son is standing there holding up a piston, asking, "Dad, What is this?"

Maybe someone has that picture and can post it.

Walter

[stickandrudderman]

It could be worse James, you could be employing mechanics and get the same result.......

[Bonnyboy]

Several years back a mechanic friend of my Dad poured some antifreeze and dirty oil mixture under my dad's car as a joke.  My dad put the car up on jack stands and spent an hour or so trying to figure out exactly where this oil antifreeze mixture came from and finally gave up deciding to drive the car and see what happened.   A day later the neighbor said he saw somebody reaching under the car and pretty soon we pieced it all together based on the description of the car he came in.   

Dad never said anything but the next time we were at the culprit's shop, Dad placed a well worn piece of something into the pile of parts that was once a big block engine.  The engine was put together and the piece was left over - the engine came apart and then together again and finally the part was identified as being from a different engine.   He had been "had".

I recited that story at my Dad's funeral and the "culprit" was in attendance and we all had a goodlaugh. 

[JamesL]

It could be worse James, you could be employing mechanics and get the same result.......

I guess I've done that too. Damn car

[TheEngineer]

When I did the cylinder head of my truck, after it was all together I noticed  a curved pipe  laying on the side on the floor. It was the coolant return  pipe I should have installed  before  putting  the head back  on. You guessed  it , the head had to come back off to get that d---- pipe in. And I served a four  year  apprenticeship  to become a mechanic in switzerland before  going   to engineering  school. The  truth  is, Murphy  is everywhere.

[Shvegel]

Speaking as a lifelong mechanic the worst mistake I ever made was a customer who has been given a Saab that had a bad transmission in it.  The previous owner had butchered the car putting a used transmission in it only to find the used transmission was bad so they gave it away.  I spent a fair bit of time making sure it needed a transmission and the diagnostic computer showed that the car was shifting but I knew it wasn't.  Finally I reached the conclusion it needed another transmission.  After a day putting in the new(Used) transmission I took the car for a test drive and it didn't shift.  I put it back on the computer and it said it was shifting.  I finally found the problem...A bad connection on the transmission ground wire hidden behind the battery.  The transmission computer was sending power to the transmission signal to shift the transmission but the other side of the circuit was missing so the transmission wasn't shifting.  The car had been given 2 transmissions that it didn't need because of a bad wire.

The upside is when I became an instructor for BMW the lessons learned on that car became a key part of my semi-famous electrical diagnostic talk entitled "Seven ways to step on your own D**k." 

1. Trust someone else.
2. Trust Yourself
3. Trust your equipment
4. Use the wrong diagram.
5. Ignore the grounds
6. Ignore the fact that "NEW" means Never Ever Worked
7. Never ask 'Why".

 

[Benz Dr.]

I have a similar talk about what you gain as you begin working at a new job. Only a few people have ever answered this correctly.

I ask, '' When you start working at a new job, what do you gain after you've been there for a year or two? ''
'' After you've been there for several years, what have you gained? ''
'' After you've been at the same job most of your working life, and everyone goes to you for answers, what do you have then?''

I get all sorts of responses but the answers are as follows:

Expirience
Knowledge
Wisdom

And I can assure anyone that wisdom doesn't come first. 

[JamesL]

Oh FFS!!

So I decided to re-wire the sockets for the intermittent wiper relay. Sensible chap that I am, I decided to take fuse 2 out before doing this as that stops any power to that circuit and thus danger of me shorting things out. Clever me
Job done, all working
Except I have somehow confused the immobiliser so that won't disengage and allow me to start the car..
Long conversation with immobiliser company and schedule a visit to get it looked at
Go out to car to double check that there's not some other random fuse actually gone and turn the lights on. Walk to back of car and check lights are on but notice.... the reversing lights are on
Put shifter into back into park and LO, the car will start.

Call immobiliser company back and grovel.
Need. A. Glass. Of. Wine

[Shvegel]

Before I worked for Saab I bought my first Saab 900 convertible.  I went to drop the top and it wouldn't work. I started checking the fluid level, switches, wiring,  I ripped the car apart and could not get it to work.  After 6 hours I finally called a friend who immediately said "Do you have the parking brake on?"